The Ministry of the Virtuous Wife

By: Tenita C. Johnson

            Marriage is ministry. Many women pray for God to give them a ministry or mission in life, but for the woman who desires to be a godly wife, her responsibility is the ministry of the marriage. Don’t get me wrong; in comparison of the enormous responsibility we have in the workplace and general life, it is a true balancing act. It is important for us to understand that a “true” virtuous woman desires to fulfill her commitments to the physical ministries she may be involved in at her church, commitments to her children as well as friends/family that may need her. But, all of these things should appear lower on her “To Do List” than the ministry of her husband. And if many wives will be honest with themselves, their husband requires more of their work than any ministry in the church or any girlfriend going through drama with her “baby’s daddy.” So then how is that we become virtuous women?

            When God created Eve, she was created as a help mate. Many women enter marriage looking for a man to take care of them and often times are looking for their husbands to be god in their lives. But the virtuous wife brings her own benefits to the table so she can be an asset to her husband and make their life together all the more better. She knows if she gives her husband what he needs, she is sure to get what she needs. If not from her husband, from God. Because she was created as a help mate, she aligns herself and comes into agreement with her husband and God’s vision for the family. And most women do not fully grasp the true concept of submission. It does not mean the wife does whatever the husband says. It does not mean she is his slave and he is her master. It means to adjust her desires and motives to fit into the husband’s vision. But true submission requires genuine humbleness and brokenness before God. Only He can give the spirit and strength to yield.

            It is imperative that we adjust our thinking from being secular and trust that God’s word is true. We would probably be closer to where God wants the wife to be. It is important to realize that humbleness may mean cooking and cleaning when you may not feel like it. It may mean fixing your husband’s and kids’ dinner first before your own. It may mean praying at strange hours in the middle of the night. It means praying over your husband and children while they sleep. It means sacrificing some material things so the home can run more smoothly. More importantly, this humbleness involves a mindset that God’s way is better than my own and a determination to stay before God’s throne seeking wisdom and strength to act wisely.  It is important because your position as a virtuous woman requires you to speak positively into your husband. He needs to hear that you love him, that you need him, that he does great things for you and more importantly, that you appreciate him.

            I once heard a message preached by Darlene Bishop that spoke into my life, a simple title “You Have What You Say”. To back that up, I always hear Bishop Charles Ellis say “Loose lips sink ships”. The Bible even tells us the power of the tongue can cause some things to manifest in the atmosphere. So, if you always complain that your husband is broke and insignificant, then you have what you speak into the atmosphere. If you complain that your husband is lazy and never helps you around the house, you have just that. As a virtuous wife, if you don’t believe in him, who will? It is not by chance that God made the husband the head of the household but He gave the woman the womb. Therefore, it is up to the virtuous wife to birth some things out into the atmosphere before they even occur in the natural. Many men of God have the potential and the dream to become great men of God, but they are waiting for their wife to come into agreement in order for it to manifest. More importantly, if you humble yourself and pray, and seek His face, then the very things you are waiting for will manifest in your home.

            Every usher, deacon and intercessor at church is involved in ministry. It is their desire to serve in the house of the Lord that drives them to remain faithful to their ministry. They give in service without expecting a material return. It should be the same way with the godly wife. Give in a spirit of servitude and humbleness like you would unto God. I know your husband didn’t buy you the Coach purse you wanted for your birthday, but give anyway. I know he hasn’t spent much time with you because it’s football season, but give anyway. Don’t change your ways because of the way you feel. Many times we don’t feel like praising God, but we press our way anyhow. So you must press your way and continue ministering to your husband.

            It’s ongoing ministry. It never ends. There are no breaks. Every word coming out of your mouth should uplift, not tear down. Every prayer should strengthen him. Ask the Lord to change you, not just your husband. I am certain the Lord will begin to reveal some things you need to change or deal with within yourself. When the godly wife begins to change, operating in true humility and submission, the entire atmosphere will change. Take your eyes off what your husband is not doing, and put them on what God is doing. Hold up your end of the vows and you are guaranteed to get what you need, spiritually and naturally. God promised that His word shall not return void. Give unto your husband with a spirit of servitude as though you were giving unto God and watch God give it back to you good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over. Be blessed!